A PICTURE FOR THE WEEKEND NO. 21

Don't these mountains look Asian?  That's because they're from Korea.

FYI: I don't know that guy.  He seems to like mountains too.

EASY WEEKEND DIY: BRANCH AND YARN

Sweet Thing

Do you live near a forest?  No?  How about near a tree?  Do you have access to yarn?  If so, then you can probably do this DIY.  I am not talking about the fancy wood trinket mobile - more the large branch next to it.  

Simply wrap some yarn in a color block pattern around a branch, apply some glue, and voila.  Lean the branch where you will.  Some people paint fancy patterns, that's a bit more work, but if you can, do. I'm not stopping you. 

A MOMENT FOR CALM

It's hump day.  I've mentally been congratulating myself on getting past 100 posts - pictures count, you know.  So I should be feeling fairly accomplished if nothing else, but instead there a slight nagging sensation.  A little pull of dissatisfaction.  It's not altogether unfamiliar.  Because there is always something more out there that needs to be done.  It could be something big, or a series of small responsibilities or dissatisfactions that, added together, create a larger burden.  And these things are always there, listed inside your head, ticking away the seconds like a bomb. 

I'm posting this now as much for myself as for anyone else, as a reminder to acknowledge that nagging sensation, and to put it aside.  To calm down.  It's the middle of the week, there's still some time left to do what you need to do, and you've already checked a few things off the list. It's an ideal moment to take a little time to breathe.  I will repeat this every once in awhile - the need to cultivate calm - because I think I need the reminder every now and again.  Repetition leads to building habits, and I believe that this is a good habit to have. 

I took that pic above because it evokes a sense of calm.  Many pictures unintentionally (or intentionally) create dissatisfaction by creating wants - the desire to get away, the desire to buy things, the desire to lose weight, should I have kids (?), etc.  All of this leads away from appreciating what you have.  

There is nothing I want in that picture.  It's cozy.  It's neat.  It simply exists in a way that reminds me that there is another way to be.   

FRIEND OF THE BRIDE

Flickr

I've never wanted to be a bridesmaid.  Is that odd?  I have friends who get very excited, and some people consider it an honor to be a part of the bridal party.  I understand the feeling of belonging, of being part of your friend's big day.  I want my friends to be happy.  It just happens that this part of friendship seems to come with a lot of work and money.  Traditionally, and I might be wrong here, you have to:

• buy the bridesmaid dress
• pay for dress alterations
• organize and pay for the bridal shower, including travel and accommodations + gift for bride
• organize and pay for the bachelorette party, including travel and accommodations + gift for bride
• wedding gift

That seems like a lot of money and work, and I would feel awful making my friends do that, and on the other hand, I wouldn't feel bad if I didn't have to.

That aside, my friend told me that she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid because she remembered how we had discussed how much it would suck to be a bridesmaid and she didn't want to put me on the spot.  It's true that I wouldn't have refused - I would be a asshole jerk if I said no. It's an opportunity to help a friend, and when a friend asks for help, you just give.  And pony up.

As a further aside, whenever I think "bridesmaid," I think "handmaiden," that old hag that had to brush the beautiful princess's hair late at night after a day full of royal princessian activities, at which time the handmaiden had had to clean the royal bedchamber. This is pretty much how I would picture myself during the wedding festivities - swanning around as part of a match set of bridal accessories in some ugly satin number with a train that drags along the floor.  Probably strapless. 

EASY WEEKEND DIY: CANDLE IN A JAR

Via Dreams and Jeans

Alright then.  In the upper left corner.  On the trunk being used as a nightstand.  Do you see what I see?    Of course you do.  It's so simple, really, when you think about it.  Do you have candles? Do you have old pasta sauce jars?  Then you can put the two together and voila!  An instant decorative (and useful) piece.  No more need to buy candleholders (unless you want to). 

LISTENING AND QUIET

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Have you ever listened to someone else purely for the purpose of understanding them - listening almost as a psychologist or psychiatrist does - listening purely out of interest in the speaker?  

I've noticed various types of listening recently:

• Listening to refute: taking in information so you can assemble your own argument
• Listening to join: taking in information so you can provide your own similar experience.  I think Tyra Banks is supposed to do this a lot on Top Model.  Except her similar stories have nothing to do with what the other person just said.
• Listening to accumulate information, to store away for later, when it might come in handy

There are probably more.  I've been stepping back lately, and just noticing patterns of listening.  I'm not sure if it's necessarily wrong to listen for the reasons I've just listed, I'm just saying those might be the more common ways to listen, while actually hearing the person and what they're saying may not be.

Conversely, truly being heard and understood may be a basic (psychological, not to be confused with food, clothing, etc.) human need.  I've heard it described as "psychological air."* I wonder how often this need is met.  And what people do get that need met.

In a more extreme case, I've been listening to the people at the back of the bus - the crazies that can still afford bus fare.  Not intentionally - they're just loud. They have no censor. Sometimes they chatter - and their chatter has the feel of a conversation, just with themselves. They talk like there's someone on the other end of the conversation. It's like they're meeting this need they have, this need to be heard and understood, but just in a very unconventional way.

It's always interesting to notice people who either can't or won't self-censor, because they sometimes show a part of human nature that is raw and unguarded, possibly a part of themselves that other people normally wouldn't allow to be seen.  Except for the one guy who got on the bus for poon, and started saying out loud how he wanted to sleep with every girl on the bus - every single one - and then a small circle of space started to widen around him.  Except for that guy.  I wonder if the discomfort that you sometimes feel, when that person near you begins to talk to himself, isn't partly because it's a distant echo of a need that is normally kept hidden.

* Stephen Covey

GIVEWELL: CHECKING UP ON CHARITIES

Published on GiveWell (http://www.givewell.org)

Our charity evaluation process

For details, see our process for international charities and our process for U.S. charities. This page has all charities that we have considered. GiveWell's process broadly consists of:

• Examining hundreds of charities and relevant academic literature
• Deeply investigating the most promising charities by our criteria
• Publishing all the details of our charity recommendations and the full details of our reasoning on this website

Evaluation criteria

We primarily look for charities with strong documented track records, highly cost-effective activities, and concrete needs for more funds. Recommended charities must be highly transparent and accountable, i.e., willing to share enough in-depth information about their work that we can assess them on these criteria.

Identifying charities

We cast the net as wide as we can to consider as many charities as possible, reviewing hundreds of charities' websites and more deeply investigating the most promising ones. This page has all charities that we have considered. We identify charities from sources, including:

• Submissions to our website
• Grantees of other major funders
• Partners of research organizations

In-depth charity reviews

We perform in-depth reviews of charities that make it through the early stages of our process. These involve conversations with representatives; examination of internal documentation including monitoring and evaluation reports, budgets, and plans for using additional funding; reviewing independent literature and evidence of effectiveness of the charities' programs. For the strongest contenders, we conduct visits to their programs in the field. We post the names of every charity we consider on our website. This page has all charities that we have considered.

*       *       *

Since I posted about fake charities, I thought I would post about ways to figure out effective charities.  The above is straight from the GiveWell.org website.

What is GiveWell?

Givewell is an American non-profit charity evaluator started in 2007 by two former Bridgewater Associates* investment analysts, Holden Karnofsky and Elie Hassenfeld. The goal of Givewell is to promote giving to charities that are effective and transparent.

Where does GiveWell get its funding?

GiveWell is supported by foundations, such as the Hewlett Foundation, and individual supporters.  They do not solicit donations from the general public. Look here.

Interesting GiveWell Articles:

Some juicy bits from their blog (at least for me): Celebrated Charities That We Don't Recommend, which names Kiva, Smile Train and UNICEF.

• Kiva: Well, damn. I've given money to Kiva - I honestly thought I was giving money directly to women to help finance their businesses, when it seems the money was given to micro-finance institutions, and that the creation of this direct relationship between you as a donor and a businesswoman on the other end is illusory. Kiva promises to give you updates so you see how your contribution is having an effect.  I gave some time ago and have since received one really generic update.  
• In regards to micro-finance institutions, GiveWell has put together an article suggesting that microfinancing (making small loans to people to help them start their business!), while a good idea in theory, may suck in practice.
• Smile Train: You've seen those pictures of children with cleft lips - what kind of bastard are you that you could resist that? Well, you are not alone.  No one could resist that, and Smile Train has been so successful that they are out of room for more funding. 
• UNICEF: UNICEF it would have never occurred to me to question, because...it's UNICEF.  Speaking ill of UNICEF is like peeing on a church.  You just don't do that. Well, UNICEF isn't exactly forthcoming about what they do with their funds, so I'm putting my reverence on hold. 

Also interesting is their article on Mega-Charities: those large institutional charities (think $250+ Million budgets) that are well known.  This includes UNICEF (again), Oxfam, Mercy Corps, Catholic Relief Services, Save the Children, World Vision, and CARE.  This article points out that these organizations don't provide a lot of data on where your money goes, and you can probably have a stronger impact donating to smaller organizations, possibly the one recommended on GiveWell (seems self-promoting, I know). Exception: Oxfam and Doctors Without Borders.  Interesting...

Useful Links:

• Here is the their list of top charities and the international charities they considered. 
• Here is their Giving 101 guide showing you how you can make sure your donation has a positive impact.
• Here is a link to their charity evaluation process

So the question now is - do you trust GiveWell?  Willing to give them a chance? 

* Bridewater Associates: an American investment management firm, or hedge fund. 

THE SCIENTIFIC 7-MINUTE WORKOUT

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So, other things you can do during your July 4th.  Do each activity for 30 seconds.  Repeat for best results, for a total of 20 minutes (for ideal results).

This has been making the blog rounds, but I like to have it where I can access it easily.

JULY 4TH SIDE READING

Happy July 4th! Now for that small shred of alone time you find when you sneak into the closet with your iPhone, here are some interesting articles I found, and why I found them interesting:

• Why Writing for a Living is a Terrible Idea:  It's facetious, but it caught my eye because I've always wanted 2 jobs.  I've always wanted to do something that makes money and comes with a 401K, and to write for the joy of it.  Not as the main source of income, but on the side.  If I had to think about writing (or blogging) to pay the bills, it would stress me out.
• Check out any of the articles in The Writer's Room.  Interesting - if you're into this particular topic - and I think it's pretty obvious what they're all about.
• The Spark File: On why to keep a notebook with you - at all times - and use it to keep note of all the random things that come your way when your mind is most relaxed.  I have personally set my shopping cart down in the middle of Trader Joe's to write illegible notes to myself.  It's useful.  It works. It's great. 
• A Writer's Plight: Procrastination is a huge bitch.  It's horrible, it's no good, and you are not alone in it.  If you want the company, that is.  Ideally, this will motivate you to get off your ass. 

FOOD ON MY MIND

I've been thinking about food a bit lately.  Why?  I don't know, sometimes ideas simmer for a while, putting themselves together in your mind, and then when they're ready, they pop into your consciousness, seeming to come out of nowhere. 

I have to eat every day (This should not be a surprise.  I assume this is universal, yes?), but cooking and shopping for food and planning for it is always such a burden.  Sometimes, I eat something (borderline healthy) just to get the hunger over with so I can move on to more important things, you know, like browsing the web.  I knew a single mom who made sure her daughter ate well, and then put a bunch of vegetables in a blender for herself because she was too tired.  It's a similar mentality - just get it over with - but it's something that I would like to change, for the simple reason that since this is something that has to be done daily (I am referring to cooking and eating) - as in every.single.day - there is no reason why is has to be perceived as a burden. 

Whenever I hear the word "holistic," I think about thinking of the body as a whole organism, and not a series of individual symptoms.  Like a nagging pain in your foot may be caused by damaged nerve endings in your back, or it might be the result of psychological pain.  You do not just look at your foot when you have foot pain, you look at your entire body and psyche. 

How does this apply to food? Well...you have to stretch a little.  In relation to food, instead of seeing eating simply as a day to day activity, I can see it as an extension of a larger philosophy and build from there.  

What a philosophy can provide is structure to your thought process, a form of internal guidelines that you can use to order meals - it guides what cookbooks to buy, what recipes to try, what part of the grocery store to hang around, where you even want to buy your food.  The point is to narrow your focus instead of seeing your food options as an all you can eat buffet. I can't really speak to other people's philosophies - I am only one person, but here is some food for thought: 

• Forks over Knives: a documentary that follows medical doctors that heal their patients by switching them to plant based diets. 
• The China Study: an in depth study - that, yes, takes place in China because they have a large enough population to study - that makes a connection between what we eat and what afflicts us: namely heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc..  I haven't read it.  It's a tad long.  I read this cheat sheet instead. 
• My own thoughts: I'm not against flavor and food that tastes amaaaaazing, but I'd rather save that particular good time for a restaurant, not for everyday meals. It leads to less salt, less sugar intake.  I will be the first to admit, this is great in theory and sucks in practice, especially the sugar part.  I struggle with the sugar part.  Especially foods that start with twix.

Secondly, how to apply the philosophy? Putting theory into practice is always the hard part.  Again, it's hard to think holistically.  You have to plan.  You have to shop for the week.  You have to plan the weeks meals and then shop accordingly.  My own thoughts on the matter are basically to keep things simple whenever possible (Can you smell a theme here?).

• Really, really simple: It's like decorating a room, or an episode of iron chef - pick a hearty seasonal core ingredient for the week and find recipes around it.  For example: avocado during summer, squash during winter, etc. 
• Professional subscription simple: Try The Fresh 20, which provides weekly recipes based on buying 20 ingredients a week.  Time spent trolling the web for recipes is time wasted.
• Alternate meal plan subscription: The veggiemealmaker.
• You have to plan for the worst.  There will be days I fall off the wagon, and I've been watching infomercials, so I'm going to invest in a nutri-bullet.  You never know man, you never know.
• There's also a China Study Cookbook.  I'll probably take a look at that as well.