WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?

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A little after reading this article about transgender people choosing their names, I wondered, as I have since I had the ability to wonder, what I would choose to name myself if that choice were mine to have. What if the social custom was to allow people to name themselves as a rite of passage? You are called a generic term from birth, let's say "young one," the same as any other child. Then when you come of age, you choose a fitting name. I personally have two names, my American name and my ethnic name. If pronounced correctly, I prefer the ethnic name. It sounds beautiful with the right inflection. Unfortunately that never happens. 

There is a power inherent in naming. Actors usually get to choose a stage name that is usually more socially palpable than their given name.  It creates their outward persona, because as an actor, they are always hiding beneath a character. That idea has always intrigued me. So then begins a series of what if's. What if I had been born with a different name? What would I choose? And so on. Then the stage of fantasy came to an end. 

In reality, there are very few opportunities to change your name, it's an enormous hassle and in the worst case scenario may leave you open to an accusation of identify theft. One of the most common ways that you end up changing your name as a female,* is to take your husband's name when you get married. There are a few ways of perceiving this. You could see as an opportunity to become your husband's chattel (highly negative), or to transition into becoming a member of his new family (more positive). What if there were a third option? This could be an opportunity to define yourself anew, to emerge from your former self like a snake from it's skin, fresh and unblemished? 

*Or as Zoe Saldana's husband 

ON BEING LIKEABLE

"I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likable, that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too pushy, because you have to be likable.

And I say that’s bullshit.

So what I want to say to young girls is forget about likability. If you start thinking about being likable you are not going to tell your story honestly, because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that’s going to ruin your story, so forget about likability. And also the world is such a wonderful, diverse, and multifaceted place that there’s somebody who’s going to like you; you don’t need to twist yourself into shapes."

- Writer Chimamanda Ngozi 

DUCK LANE

Can you imagine a world lined with duck lanes? The Canal & River Trust, a charity association based in England and Wales did it for you. They painted a lane, just for show, that would protect ducks from passersby and busy days, because they can't walk as fast as you or I. 

More pictures here.

TIME TO VAG UP

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Instead of telling yourself to "Man Up," why not "Vag Up?"

I heard my friend E telling herself this other day and thought this was a genius way to shine a positive light on female genitals. There is already so many negative associations already out there. If you've ever heard a guy call another guy a pussy, that about sums up the current situation. 

So I would like "Vag Up" to become a thing, I want it to hit the big time, and then to become commonplace. I'm trying to do my part to set the wheels in motion. 

Alternately, and I don't know why this sounds more ladylike, I have known a man, a true feminist, tell himself to "vagina up!" It sounded darling. 

EASY LIGHTING DIY: WRAPPED INDUSTRIAL LAMPS

BoligLiv

I found this on a blog that isn't in English, but the use of lighting here transcends language. I'm not sure what the tea kettle is doing on the stove - that may be a bad idea and I don't support it, but right up above the stove are industrial lamps, drilled into the wooden beams, which is a cheap and inexpensive way to get light just where you want it.   

Read the full story (using Google Translate) here.

ON MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF

FUN LINKS

Yosemite

Reedsy

If you ever have the need, here is an online site to find editors and writing professionals.

Kierkegaard's World Part 1: What Does It Mean To Exist?

Kierkegaard is one of the most prolific writers I have ever known. And his thoughts are unique, even mildly intriguing, so this article provides a nice introduction to the man. 

This collapsible backpack

From Flip and Tumble. 

OneLook Reverse Dictionary

For those times when you are searching for a word, but you only know the definition, but not the word. 

The Clymb

I'm constantly on the search for quality, affordable outdoor gear that isn't ugly. To put it mildly, it's been a process. Clymb is an online flash sale site for outdoor clothing, gear, and adventures. It's one of the few (and only) discounts for outdoor gear I have found, and I am looking hard. If you use the link, we both get $10 in credit. 

Nepal Donation through Himalayan High Treks

This is a way to donate through the travel agency I used to travel through Nepal. I know that everyone at Himalayan High Treks has a genuine interest in directly helping this country, and returning people to work as soon as possible.  

KATHMANDU, PICTURES AND THOUGHTS

The view from the roof of my hotel, The Tibet Guest House, a quiet oasis in the turbulence of people and cars, shops and scooters, lying in wait out there in the Kathmandu streets. I don't have any pictures from street level. As I learned on my first day, stopping makes you a target. Not for safety reasons - I don't wander around by myself late at night, it was just that the bright phosphorescent beam of my tourist origins shone out like a beacon when I stood still. It was hard right away because there were no street signs. If I turned the corner without looking, I might never have found my way back. So I tried to orient myself, and immediately, someone introduced himself, tried to tell me his life story (a sad one) and then tried to interest me in buying him food because - his words - "You can afford it! This is nothing to you!" And then he kept following me. So. 

So I learned to not stop walking, but walking itself was draining, because there were no sidewalks and no lanes. You walked on the same street as cars, people, and scooters going in both directions, and the road was not a generous one. Honking was almost a form of conversation.  

This the wonderful courtyard of the aforementioned Tibet Guest House. I tried to wait until there were no people present to take this, so this is as good as I could make it. They pipe in classical music too, and it is just as serene as it appears.

I took this through some slats in the hotel wall. They were decorative slats, quite beautiful in fact, and I wanted to capture what was going on next door. I wanted the frame of the slats around the lens.

You see all these people? This is what it looks like when there are less people than normal milling around. You can see some are dressed up. It was the Dasan holiday, and most people in the city had already left to go back to their homes in the villages. This year's will likely be very different.

KATHMANDU VALLEY AS IT WAS

Stupa on the way to the forbidden parts of Kathmandu

As our guide would tell us, you cannot separate Nepal from Buddhism. This is true. Do you see the trails of steepled structures? Those are Buddhist offerings called stupa. I had never heard of them before and my own father is Buddhist. The structures lined Kathmandu in varying forms, from basic stone carvings to the dramatic structure with eyes - those are the eyes of Buddha watching you. They are all stupa. You will walk across pathways that are for stupa and holy structures alone. 

Kathmandu is overcrowded, and that is putting it mildly. Moving from the rural areas where most people are from and into the city center is a proper shock. Hiking was a paradise. You would meet no one for miles and you would wander around places only locals ever saw. Returning to Kathmandu was the opposite of that experience. All these people barely fit into the city and simply navigating your way down streets was an adventure. So many people, such insufficient resources, and yet so much land went to stupa.

The eyes of Buddha

Here is the main stupa for one of the largest Buddhist temples in Kathmandu. Tiny people are at the base of it, so you can get a sense of scale. At the top, the eyes of Buddha.

Walking through here, alongside the Hindu offerings, the stupa, and the associated animals, was divine. You can't see it, but there are animal carvings in front of some structures, because some Hindu gods have an associated animal.

HELP FOR NEPAL: KATHMANDU'S DURBAR SQUARE AS IT WAS

Here you have my ant's eye view of Durbar Square in Kathmandu, a world heritage site as beautiful as they come. I have no idea what this looks like now and how long it will take to return. I'll share these now because I was there to be documentation of how it was before the 2015 earthquake and to give an idea of what where your donation will go. This was taken during the Dasan holidan, so there are less people than usual, but it was still overrun. I try not to take pictures of people whenever possible, so all the people you see of people sitting on temple (Stupa) steps around are the result of me trying to actively avoid them. A post on Kathmandu city proper to follow shortly.