THE WRITER STEREOTYPE

Via

I happened to be beside a friend the other day as she finished a book.  She turned to the end where the picture of the author happened to be, looked it over, and said "I knew it."

What did she know?

I'm not going to answer this question immediately. Not to be coy, but I want to give the idea some time to percolate. If I jump in with my theory too soon, this becomes a leading question*, and I'd rather the answer evolved naturally.  

I tell people on occasion that I like to write. The act of writing is an act of joy. I always thought that this was a neutral fact, like saying you liked your eggs scrambled, your sky blue, and your favorite season to be preferably spring. It recently occurred to me, possibly in aftermath of the "I knew it"fiasco, that this identification could be negative.

There are two perceptions that I see running in parallel: that of the writer, and that of the introvert. This comes from reading Quiet by Susan Cain, which covers the gamut of what it means to be an introvert in the modern world. In part, she argues that introverted behavior is considered negative, while extroversion has become the ideal. People asked to described the generic introverts use descriptors such as "ungainly," "neutral colors," and "skin problems." In contrast, the extrovert ideal is "gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight...prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt." So the idea of someone typing away in a cafe, happily translating the ideas living inside their head onto the page probably falls under the definition of an introvert. That is my assumption.

There are exceptions. I'm sure there are writers out there who have mastered the trifecta of socializing, binge drinking, and writing. This person clearly has it made and has nothing to fear. I can't speak to that person.

However, when I thought of a hypothetical writer, I used to picture a deep and intense thinker, someone who lived a little ways outside of social norms, who observed and created, someone I could admire. That picture may be changing. When the phrase "I'm a writer" comes out of my mouth, it can act like a filter, and I wonder how the perception of me alters when that filter has been applied.

Of course, none of this means I'm going to act any differently. Life is difficult enough as it is.

* A leading question attempts to influence an answer.  For example: What color is the grey dog?

Yes, this post has been re-written. 

MELLOW WRITING MUSIC: RHYE

Two songs that are mellow and just slightly captivating, a nice bit of sound to have in the background while you're typing furiously away. The videos are also tell an interesting story of disconnect.

ON EMOTIONAL EXCESS AND CREATIVITY

You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings. It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to imbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing. Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications. Something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them. If it seems to you that I move in a world of certitudes, you, par contre, must benefit from the great privilege of youth, which is that you move in a world of mysteries. But both must be ruled by faith.

From the Diary of Anais Nin, Vol. 3 

FUN LINKS

Photographer Grant Harder

Inspiration 

If you're looking for some beautifully written advice, try Caitlin Moran's advice for her daughter

Writing 

You may want to check out the Writing Tools of 20 Famous Authors.  

It is exactly what it sounds like.

Efficiency 

About this time, you may realize that I have a problem with procrastination. So I read this article about Clearing to Neutral to stop the little things from getting in your way.

Creativity 

A nice article of the definition of creativity from authors with a history of putting it to good use: What is Creativity?

Beauty 

DIY dry shampoo. 

Actually, the Wellness Mama blog has a bucketload of great beauty DIY's and I just chose this one.

Mind 

This article on the Value of Suffering is a nice meditation on the subject. 

Healthcare 

Fact Checks on Obamacare from CNN.

MAKES ME HAPPY

Via

This pic makes me unbelievably happy. Sometimes, that's enough.

THE MY WRITING TAB

I was staring at my blog header the other day, and I realized that there isn't a great deal here about my own writing. In fact, there is next to nothing about it, which is and was intentional. My general philosophy is that it is better to show than tell, so instead of talking about writing, I would just go ahead and write. A little dialogue here, a blurb there, with a little analysis thrown in for kicks.

If there is any interest in what I've been writing outside of this blog, I will put that discussion all in one place (mostly) under the My Writing tab up above. Just look for the Victorians and they will show you the way. 

I've also written some fan fic while posing anonymously as a pug, but I'm only giving that one away if you ask me directly. I'm not too sure what I think about that story and the fewer ties I have to that story, the better, if you know what I mean.   

DO YOU EVER SUSPECT YOU MAY BE A STEREOTYPE?

Via Look! She's probably vegetarian, does yoga, and probably had to travel a bit to get to this outdoor locale. VYO!

I was talking with my friend the other day, who had finally met someone worth meeting. All was well with the world. She felt their date had gone pretty well, and they'd bonded over all the wrong people they had met, well, before meeting each other. Spectacular and dandy. Here's my reenactment:

She: [about the first date] It was so good. We talked about so many things we had in common - I told him things on the first date that I haven't told guys I've been dating for months.
Me: That's great!*
She: I mean, he's an adult - he has a full time job and a car, and he's willing to drive it.
Me: He didn't say "So....Dutch?" at the end of the meal?
She: No! No Dutch involved. [We then make snide references to previous dates.]
She: He was so glad to find out I ate meat! Ha!
Me: Ha! That's great!**
She: Yeah, apparently, all the girls he meets are all the the same: they're these vegetarian girls who do yoga and like the outdoors. He was so happy to meet someone that wasn't into those things! Hahahaha!
Me: Hahahha! (Wait. Mental pause here. Review the factors: 1) don't eat meat, 2) do yoga, 3) like the outdoors. That describes...me.*** Have I become that hippie-dippy-California-female stereotype?)
She: So, then, at the end of the date...[she continues, I am preoccupied]
Me: [Ruminating. Am I exactly like every other trendy boring female out there? What does this mean?]

This was my conclusion: It means nothing. I like these things, and I do them. When I introduce myself, I don't announce myself as V(egetarian)Y(oga)O(outdoorsy) like some sociopath. It's never occurred to me to blog about yoga - so many people talk about it that there's really nothing particularly intriguing that I can add to the conversation. I don't even wear t-shirts with logos, and I don't go moseying around talking to everyone about my three favorite topics of all time. VYO! 

What's funny was my assumption that these qualities were unique to me, like I somehow owned the rights to them.**** I have as much ownership over them as I have over the sun. Interests are there to make life better. They may define me in a certain way - to other people - it's just human nature to categorize and simplify and knowing your interests will help people to do that. It has very little to do with the actual person. I like what I like, and that probably means I fall into one stereotype or another. Identity crisis - averted.

*Not very interesting, I know. There's really nothing you can do with good news except affirm it. If you share your good news at this time, you're stealing their thunder and kind of a dick. 

** I know, I know...I am boring.  
*** Technically, I still eat fish.
*** Interestingly, the presumption of being special or unique can be tied to narcissism.

WARDROBE ESSENTIALS: MIX AND MATCH

The White Button Down Shirt

Wardrobe Essentials: The White Shirt by coffeestainedcashmere featuring cashmere sweaters

I found these sets from Coffeestainedcashmere on Polyvore and thought they would be a good template to have around for those days, you know?  When you wake up, open your closet door and WTFF, it has turned overnight into an unforgiving abyss.

ARTIST TAY DALL

Via

This caught my eye recently.  From artist Tay Dall, she hails from South Africa.  There's a lot of control and balance to her work right here, the way the colors touch each other, the precision of her shapes that aren't exactly shapes. The closest analogy I can make to this is that it's like writing about someone who has gone mad, you can't just have the character go completely crazy, that means you have no control over your work and it's sloppy. You have to give the crazy a framework where it can function. 

I've tried painting approximately twice in my life, and realized both times that I don't have it in me to create anything using this medium, but it does give me an appreciation for good technique when I see it.* I tend toward abstract subjects.  Does this do anything for you?

*General disclaimer: I have yet to master the use of liquid eyeliner, so that should give you an idea of the level of skill I'm working with here. The need for eyeshadow is also rather mysterious to me. I've only ever tried it on Halloween, where you can pass off mistakes as "part of the costume, obviously."

WHAT ARE YOU DRAWN TOWARDS?

What did you do with your Labor Day weekend? For myself, I went backpacking in Big Sur, California and took a few pics along the way just to prove it. In case you're wondering, it's a physically grueling experience. I'm not going to even try to pass this off as anything other than what it is. You're a mule carrying about forty to fifty pounds and eventually you're going to have to go up a few hills. The first hill isn't very nice to you. The second hill, well that one is a fucker, and somewhere in the middle, you look up and realize it just gets steeper without getting any shorter. And you go on.

There really is no logical reason to do this, this backpacking thing, except you have to get something out of it or what would be the point? However, this elusive something is intangible. You cannot hold it in your hand, you cannot show it to other people, you can only show it to yourself and talk about it to other people, and hope that they try to understand. I don't know if hardship is conducive to creativity. I honestly can't answer that for you. But - and I can only speak for myself here - I believe that hardship is conducive to happiness. I believe that the best kind of happiness is the kind you have earned, and that if you settle for the other kind, you kind of just float on by on the surface of your life and never achieve any depth.

I was reading Diary by Chuck Palahniuk, the writer of Fight Club fame, and he's very good at describing everyday misery - maybe drudgery is the better term for it - the monotonous, never-ending daily grind  type of misery, the misery whose defining characteristic is that it will happen again and again in exactly the same way until the overall effect is the cumulative loss of your self: your dreams and your ambitions, until you settle for just getting by and you accept misery as a kind of toll you pay to just get through the hours of the day.

Now - spoiler alert here - the point of the inflicting this kind of misery on the protagonist was to guarantee that she would become a great artist. I'm not entirely sure about that, but I think that's a very common idea, to believe that you have to really suffer to create great art. I believe, to a less dramatic degree, that you should challenge yourself, which will lead to becoming a deeper person, a deeper thinker and observer, and that in turn will give you the tools to create something exceptional. Put another way, it's not misery itself that is important, but what you do in the face of it.

My second point: I think everyone has something that they're naturally drawn towards. If I say left or right, black or white, vanilla or chocolate, you have an instinctive preference. You may not feel like sharing, but you probably prefer one over the other. I know myself fairly well by now, and I like being around nature, even when I discover that citronella does not repel gnats (Did you know?) and I was walking around in an insect-filled haze of gnats that alternated between flying into my eyes, nose or ears for three days...and yet. I would do it again, probably with stronger repellant this time. And an inflatable pillow. I couldn't sleep very well while I was out there, but it didn't piss me off the way it would if I had been unable to sleep at home. There were sounds I could listen to. There was a lot of space for my mind to open up and play. There was a bird I wanted to hit with a rock. If you listen, and possibly explore a bit, there is something or some place you can find that calls to you, it will bring you peace, but also the kind of frustration you want.