Wednesday, January 16, 2013

CAN YOU DISAGREE WITHOUT ARGUING? (PART 1)



Part 1 Posting Extravaganza! Topic: Arguing, a post told in 2 parts.  Why 2 parts? Because I don't want a long, boring post.

Let me start with two general, let's call them assumptions that can lead to hours of arguing*:
  1. There are some problems that do not have a solution
  2. For every rule, there is an exception
If you have hours to blow, try this: I had a relationship discussion with my friend S.  Relationships sometimes fall under problems that have no solution.  (example: Do you think I should get a divorce?)  Now, S. is a problem solver, not a sympathizer.  This is simply how she is.  I cannot change her, what I can do, is not present her with a problem that cannot be solved.  What you get in return are an endless supply of solutions, and none of them will work.  

Party time! Have you ever been found yourself opposite someone who automatically has to contradict statements thrown their way?  In sane conversations, there are maybe two disagreements, and then it just dies.  But the really mundane conversations can go on forever, like so:

Pam: She's really pretty, but she's wearing a lot of makeup.
Lisa: Yeah, people always look better with makeup.
Pam: Not people with tattooed makeup, they look worse.
Lisa: My aunt has tattooed makeup, and she looks really good.
Me: (to myself) OMFG.

* As a disclaimer, I don't enjoy arguing.  I enjoy problem solving, and becoming more informed by being presented with an opposing, informed perspective.  If either of these is not in play, then I consider it a pissing contest. 

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